Procrastinating.

Hello young blog page. It has been some time since we last met. I've been avoiding you. But you see, now I need to waste some time. Actually, I need to NOT waste time. But I'm just not that type of person, and therefore here I am to procrastinate in a way most undesirable.

Science and I were not made for one another. Trust me when I say that history majors, and religion majors, are not meant to read scientific articles for understanding. I can make my eyes run across those words so fast that it is almost unbelievable. But I absorb none of it. In my double major experience, which is considerable at this point, I never came across equations in paragraphs. Apparently these are meant to pose as arguments one way or the other. But I just skip these paragraphs because they are less stimulating than the actual class on an hour of sleep. It looks like whenever Tolkien through in some elvish script into the text. Nice effort, my good man, beautiful symbols, which are perhaps meaningful if you are fluent in whatever language you made up. Unfortunately, I possess the mathematical prowess similar to an average hick American's vocabulary in a foreign language. That's not fair----to me. But it's close. Math inside of text! This is madness. I adore writing and reading history papers, and I enjoy reading things that I find to be particularly meaningful. Biotechnology is just not one of them. Tomorrow is the last day of class, and at this rate, I may need to skip it to finish my paper. I won't though. I always manage to finish papers, at least in terms of quantity. Quality is something else entirely.

Oh, and I really do not care about my paper topic. Patenting genetically engineered products. I picked the OncoMouse. Which is a registered trademark of DuPont and possibly Harvard. Other genetic companies have been crazypants aggressive about their rights, so let's be safe and give them their credit. Step off, fools. Anyway, I don't care about the ethical arguments about the issue of patenting living creatures, or manipulating DNA and then owning it. I guess it sounds like I disagree with it, and I suppose I do. But I am not vehemently opposed to it, at least not enough for this paper to even allure me into contemplating writing it. It really is just about time to get started though.

Okay, Renae. It's time to get to what really has been keeping you from your paper. Besides the science hate.

Well, I have been mulling over something that I need to talk to a friend about tomorrow. It won't be a particularly long conversation - at least I don't foresee it that way. Who knows on which note it will end. But the thing that we need to discuss makes me nervous... I've told her serious things before, but I can only think of one real time where she exhibited any vulnerability on a personal level. But I know she does with others. So, maybe this brings us closer, maybe it messes things up. My other friend thinks I should just tell her whats been bugging me, but I work myself up about these things quite often. I just hate confrontations, and though it is not something I expect will phase her at all, I still go directly to worst case scenario. Foiled. Why can't everyone just figure out what's on our minds, and act accordingly without us telling them. No, it'll be fine.

It sucks. Even if I did not have a paper to write, I would likely not sleep much tonight. And the worst part is that I will not even be able to discuss it until later on in the evening. I gotta do it fast, like a bandaid, (which is also someone's registered trademark, free advertising to an audience of...2. Be grateful, greedy bastards.) but I can't just slap her in the face with it....ah tact.

Anyways, since this was a self-serving rant, as most of my posts are, I guess I should cut it off way before I say too much, or wax too obnoxious.

I hope that I can focus now.